POWDER KEG OF SEXUAL DEVIANCE

homorobotica:

God, I probably shouldn’t be posting this on Tumblr but I am starting to flip like a pancake. Here’s the deal - myself, and my best friend and her fiance were supposed to be moving in with one of her co-workers. He said he was down, so we pulled the trigger and put down a $500 deposit to hold/reserve the condo we’re going to rent. Well, he has backed out leaving us in the lurch. We are supposed to sign the lease and pay the security deposit on June 16th, but we may be able to push that date back a little bit. We are desperately searching for a roomie.

Here are the details:

• The full rent is $1150, so between four people that is approx. $288 a month for the rent.
• We are still working out the utilities, meaning power and the cable/internet. Those things combined should be about $200 a month. We are still figuring out whether to just split those four ways and buy individual groceries, or if one person takes power, one takes cable/internet, and the other two each take $100 in groceries.
• It is a three bedroom condo. The couple are taking the master bedroom, obviously, and the two other rooms aren’t too tiny. There is a full bathroom that is public and a second toilet in the master. So there are two toilets and that’s what matters in the end.
• The security deposit will be not quite $400 dollars because of not just the rent part, but the fees you have to pay when you sign a new lease. Application fees, admin fees, a co-signing fee (you will need a co-signer if you are a student I believe, since I have to get one too), etc.
• Pets are allowed but be aware they have a medium sized dog (female, very sweet) and they have a holland lop rabbit. I do not know how many pets we are allowed to have but there is a fee/deposit for dogs and probably cats that is about $500 and I don’t know how much of that you get back. I am also planning to get a rabbit. Also, there are two water frogs.
• The ages in the apartment are 20 (me), 19 (my friend) and 21 (her man). I will be going to WWU and so will he too for fall quarter. My friend goes to BTC.
• The condo is right smack near everything. Near the university, near Haggen, near Fred Meyer’s, near the Park & Ride. Very good location even though it is by the freeway.
  
  

That is all I can think of right now. Please ask-box me for more details or for my e-mail. No creepers. 

amicuspondicus:

i got 99 problems and restarting my computer for updates is all of them

thewhoreat221b:

does anybody else just say “no” out loud in a deadpan voice as they exit out of bad fic or is that just me

ugly-feelings:

sometimes i just want to get a fake orange spray tan and bleach my hair blonde and wear hollister and a&f and american eagle and uggs exclusively and wear frosted lipglosses and make ducklips faces and care about jersey shore and gossip girl. because apparently “nice” dudes hate when girls that because it’s “fake”, it’s “slutty”, it’s overdone/tasteless/”dumb” but fuck you. everything is fake. all persona is persona including what you’ve been conditioned to perceive as a “neutral”/”inoffensive” appearance.

because i don’t want your “respect”, and i certainly don’t need your advice on how to “respect” a body. i don’t need your fake concern about skin cancer and burns on my scalp when my body doesn’t even feel like mine sometimes. when breast cancer becomes selling sex to teenage boys who wouldn’t tell you about the lump in your breast they felt while they were feeling you up. your concern for my body will always be mediocre until it is mine to create/destroy/create, and even then it wouldn’t even matter because you do not inhabit this flesh, or these organs, or this mucus/snot/bile/blood/spit/fluid/fluid/fluid. so stop trying to crawl into my bed of skin, asshole. stop trying to own my ugliness. you can’t have it. too bad, so sad.

i don’t want you to wait before i leave the room to talk about how gross i am. i want my skin to be greasy and leave big orange stains on every man who touches me and who i choose to touch. i want my hair to make you puke. i want my clothes to remind you of how capitalism lives in tube tops and booty shorts just as well as it does in jeans and a t-shirt or whatever the fuck makes you feel like the girl you wanna fuck is real “authentic”, real “down-to-earth” or whatever. i want to remind you that every picture is posed. no expression can be pure when you can see the camera and the camera can see you. i want you to know that i spent three goddamn hours straightening my hair and putting on my eyeliner over and over again and removing it over and over again so there’s light grey rings under my eyes and when i reapplied my lipgloss for the 20th time tonight in the backseat of my best friend’s car it hit a pothole so it’s smudging against my lipliner and i’m still not “sexy” to your pretentious jonh lennon art school ass. my labor is MINE, and it’s ugly because god loves ugly. i wasn’t put on this earth to give you a hard on. i want to scream and drink and grind to shitty club music because i want to scare the living shit out of you. i want you to go home and post a facebook update about how “our generation is doomed” and get twenty likes from all your pretentious john lennon art school friends and all your fedora-wearing self-entitled pasty sarcastic bros and all your edgewatch xvx police officers and all your “nice guy” indie rock microbrew date rapists who all secretly wish they could make a man want to remove himself from this earth just by getting a spraytan.

i don’t want you to want to fuck me, BRO. i want you to have to look at me. i want to be the bright orange flesh you don’t want to fuck but you also can’t ignore. i want you to be very, very scared of what is going to come out of my mouth. i want you to cringe at the sound of my voice because it is both too feminine and too loud. your disgust makes me even louder, even more powerful. and it’s so funny to me, so funny to me, because you know and i know we are both just pretending we aren’t aware that deep down you so badly wish you could be a monster, too.

iamateenagefeminist:

instagrampa:

how to excite a large crowd of white people:

• play don’t stop believin’ by journey

People in Michigan go crazy when this song come on because it mentions Detroit. 

Like, it’s seriously intense. 

I can’t even explain it.

It’s true. That is all you have to do. I will admit.